


In which the mechs try to do normal date things

by zinabug



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Another fic written in the middle of the night from ME, Light mechs-typical pyromania, Multi, No rights for jonny, Polymechs - Freeform, Sorry if this is completely incoherent, Swearing, the mechs get kicked out of places
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24621211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zinabug/pseuds/zinabug
Summary: Polymechs try to do normal date things! Such as eating at (getting kicked out of) a restaurant! As one does!
Relationships: The Mechanisms Ensemble/The Mechanisms Ensemble, polymechs
Comments: 22
Kudos: 152





	1. The mechanisms get kicked out of a restaurant

The woman sitting by the door of the restaurant, waiting to seat people who came in, looked up from her work to hear shouting outside. 

She listened for a few minutes before returning to looking at the reservations for the night. 

The door suddenly slammed open and a man wearing ridiculous eyeliner and too many belts crashed through. 

“Party of seven?” He said. “Name of D’ville?” 

The woman shuffled through her papers and shook her head. 

The man sighed angrily. “Name of O’reilly?” 

She flipped through the papers again. “Yep. Looks like you have a table for 7pm.” 

The man nodded before holding up one finger and ducking most of the way out the door again. “YEAH, WE’VE GOT A TABLE AT THIS PLACE. ASHES! WHY THE FUCK IS IT UNDER YOUR NAME!” 

Someone, who the woman assumed was ashes, yelled back. “WHAT. I’M FUCKING QUARTERMASTER THE TABLE CAN BE UNDER MY NAME-“

“BUT I’M CAPTAIN.”

Six other people yelled “FIRST MATE!” At the same time. 

The woman put her head in her hands and sighed. This was going to be a long night. 

* * *

Lesson one of… well, everything: never give Ashes access to candles in a restaurant. They will start to try to light things on fire, often starting with someone else. In this case, Tim. 

Jonny put his face down right on his plate as Ashes lunged at Tim holding a candle. He laughed and swatted it away from his face, almost getting Jonny a candle to the head. 

“Fuckin’ stop it.” Jonny growled. 

Tim grinned. “No!” 

Jonny halfheartedly smacked Tim’s arm. Tim responded by almost dropping his candle on Jonny’s head again. 

Meanwhile, Marius watched with interest while Raphaella worked on making small explosives in the little creamer cups at the table. She was trying to show him how to do it, but he was really just getting in the way and spilling things. 

Every time any of the restaurant staff walked by, Marius profusely apologized to them about the rest of the crew. He mostly got back tired looks and sighs. 

Brian and Ivy were having a very calm conversation, which was mostly Ivy explaining the plot of a mystery novel in detail while Brian interjected to try and solve it before she got to the end. It was the only thing the crew was doing that could be described as remotely appropriate behavior for a restaurant. 

Tim carefully balanced a candle on top of Ashes’s head. They grinned at him, and leaned over to kiss him while Jonny groaned loudly and put his arms over his head as protection against potential candles. 

One of Raph’s tiny explosives went off, making Ashes and Tim jerk away from each other in shock. The candle fell off of Ashes’s hat onto Jonny. 

“Fuck!” Marius yelled, grabbing his glass of water and tossing it’s contents in Jonny’s general direction. He somehow managed to get Jonny, Tim, Ashes and himself all wet at once and not put out the small fire that had started in Jonny’s hair. 

Ashes glared at him and put their hand over the fire, putting it out almost immediately. 

“Sorry! Sorry! I’m sorry!” Marius said, handing Jonny his napkin. Jonny glared at him, taking the napkin and sticking it down the front of his vest, not even trying to wipe the water off his face. 

“Bless your heart.” Jonny said to Marius, in the coldest tone he could muster. 

There came the sound of someone clearing their throat, and all of the mechanisms froze. The waiter was standing at their table. 

Jonny froze halfway through sticking a napkin in his vest, Ashes was caught in the act of trying to stealthily light Tim’s hair on fire, Marius was practically in Raph’s lap while she finished her next tiny explosive, and Ivy still talking. Brian calmly put his finger over her lips, and she stopped and looked over at the waiter. 

“Sorry.” Marius said quietly. 

The creamer cup in Raph’s hands exploded. 

* * *

The door closed behind a very angry Jonny, leaving the mechs standing outside of the restaurant. It had hardly been fifteen minutes since they had arrived. 


	2. In which the mechs ride the teacups ride.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all.
> 
> TW for brief mentions of smoking, blood, and alcohol!

Jonny kicked the curb. “What are we going to do now?” 

Ashes shrugged. “There’s a fair in town.” 

Raph jumped to her feet from where she was sitting on the curb. “Excellent! Let’s go!” 

They didn’t buy tickets. 

Tim climbed over the fence, which he then cut a gate in for the others to pass through. 

As Raph shoved by him, she said, “you know that you could have done that from this side.”

Tim grinned and waved cheerfully at her, his hands bloody from barbed wire. 

As soon as they reached the first lines of food trucks, Ivy tucked herself into Raph’s side in response to the lights and noise. Raph wrapped one of her wings around her, and Marius walked on her other side holding one of her hands. Ivy hated crowds. 

“What should we get first!” Jonny yelled. 

“Something horrible and deep fried, probably.” Tim responded. He was grinning. 

“everything horrible and deep fried.” Jonny said. “Mini doughnuts!” 

“Do we even have money?” Brian asked. 

“Oh, yes.” Ashes handed Tim a wad of cash. “Most of it is stolen or counterfeit but it should do.”

Tim took it and shoved it in his pockets. Jonny scowled. “Why don’t I get it? I’m-“

Everyone said “first mate,” at the same time in the same, bored tone except for Tim, who yelled it at the top of his lungs, causing several people to look over at them. He flipped them all off. 

Jonny ran over to the mini doughnut stand and snatched a bag out of someone’s hand as they reached over to hand it to a customer. Ignoring their yells, he ran back to the rest of the group. 

“Jonny, you know I’m all for crime half of the time, but please pay for those.” Brian said. 

“No! I didn’t do shit!”

“The man you stole from is coming over.” Ashes noted. 

Brian gave Jonny a look. 

Jonny sighed and snatched a few bills from Tim, storming over and shoving them into the hands of the man he’d stolen from. 

He glared at him. “You can’t just take things!”

Jonny leaned closer to him. “You're lucky it’s just your mini doughnuts and not your life I took. I fuckin’ payed you back.” 

The man stepped back, looking scared. He glanced down at the bills in his hands and his face lit up, before he turned and ran back into the crowd. 

Ashes burst out laughing. “You fuckin’ paid him twenty bucks for a handful of mini doughnuts!” 

Jonny flipped them off and shoved two mini doughnuts into his mouth. 

Tim grabbed two mini doughnuts from the bag. 

Jonny glared at him. “I stole these fair and square. Fuck off.”

Tim took a couple more, keeping eye contact with Jonny the whole time. He had powdered sugar in his beard. 

“What else should we get?” Raph asked, glancing around the street. “I vote for ice cream.” 

“I also vote ice cream.” Jonny said through his mouthful of doughnut. 

“You don’t get to vote.” Tim said. “You’re annoying.” 

Jonny glared at Tim, and then flipped him off. “Is there anywhere here we can buy alcohol?” 

“Yes.” Brian said. He’d picked up a map of the fairgrounds off the street and was reading it. “But you’re nineteen.”

“So?”

“You can’t legally drink on this planet.” 

“Like that’ll stop me!” Jonny snapped. 

“It’ll have to.” Ashes said. “I’m not getting kicked out again.” 

“What do we do then?” Jonny yelled. 

“There’s rides.” Brian noted. 

Jonny’s face lit up. 

“I am not getting in a fucking—  _ teacup—  _ with Jonny D’Ville.” Marius said. 

“Too bad!” Tim said, grabbing his arm. “You’re with us, or us, we are  _ not _ wasting a ticket.” 

Jonny grinned at Marius, who gave him a suspicious look. He didn’t like this one bit. 

“Hurry up.” Ashes said. 

Marius let Tim drag him into the teacup and sat down.

In a different teacup Raph had started talking to Brian and Ivy about some kind of very complicated science, and the two of them were listening with interest. Marius stared at them for a minute, wishing he was with them. They probably wouldn’t spin him to kingdom come, unlike Jonny. 

The ride started, and, like Marius had expected, they started spinning wildly around and around. Jonny was cackling, while ashes calmly lit a cigarette. Tim grinned, still holding onto Marius’s arm as they zoomed past Ivy, Raph and Brian, spinning at a perfectly acceptable pace and talking about science. 

Marius groaned and leaned his head on Tim’s shoulder. Why couldn’t he be with them instead?

The seven of them were piled on a single bench, eating various fair food they had bought or stolen, and debating what to do next. 

Tim, Ashes and Raph wanted to ride a roller coaster, and Jonny just wanted to go on the teacups again. Ivy had pulled a book out of nowhere and was reading it, not listening to them, and Marius really just wanted to leave. Brian was too busy making sure Jonny didn’t try to get into a fistfight with Tim or Ashes to voice an opinion, although he rather wanted to leave too. 

Jonny eventually stood up. “Hey, Ashes, do you want to rob someone? We need more snacks.”

Ashes smiled. “Absolutely.” 

Twenty minutes later, all seven mechs found themselves running away, the fair and several police officers behind them. Jonny was holding a backpack and two purses, and ashes had a handful of cash and a new hat. The two of them had robbed several people, and those people were not happy about it, and the mechs had to leave very quickly to avoid being arrested. Eventually they stopped, everyone ducking in an alley for a break. 

“What the  _ fuck  _ do we do now?” Raph said. “We’re going to get kicked out of every place in this town!” 

“I got us a hotel room.” Ashes said. 

“Room? As in, room singular?” Brian asked. 

“Hotel room.” Ashes said, unhelpfully. “There’s a pool and free breakfast.”

“Oh, hell yeah.” Tim said. “Let’s go  _ right now.”  _


End file.
